Archive for the Diary Category

XIII – Wrecked Hymn And A Dream

Posted in Diary, Mr. Amateur Will Return, OR WILL HE? on September 1, 2008 by jiiiiim

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XII : Albino House

Posted in Balconies, Diary, Yap yap yap on August 24, 2008 by jiiiiim

The Amateur did not have long to wait for his next assignment. Driving home in the, uh, escape vehicle that he totally didn’t steal, he picked up the same rattling. He looked up – no dice. He pressed play on the stereo – nothing. He stopped the car and looked behind him. On the back was a nodding dog. The Amateur hates nodding dogs. The exploded remnants yielded this partially charred card.
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XI : A Theme Too Far

Posted in Diary, Duelling, Masks on August 8, 2008 by jiiiiim

The Amateur stumbled from the Shamal looking for a means of escaping this wretched city. His minivan had apparently started the long journey home without him and his money was still in his room. Sighing resignedly, he stuck out a thumb in the time-honoured fashion of the hitch-hiker. A car immediately stopped next to him. The Amateur dived in to find the driver separated by an opaque partition.

“You’re the only one left now 47…”, began a familiar, hated voice
“I’m not 47! I want out of t-”
“…all our agents are dead by now…” continued the voice
“Good! Assassination is not a game!”
“…we don’t know if this mission is a set-up but it’s sure to be crawling with enemy agents…”
“Are you even listening to me?!”

The Amateur shot a couple of nails through the forbidding plexiglass. Peering through the holes, he could see nothing but a tape-recorder on the driver’s seat.

“…good luck 47. It’s been quite a ride.”

The Amateur tensed in anticipation of the thing self-destructing but it turns out that only happens in a certain genre of movie. Retrieving it and flipping it open, he found this design on either side of the cassette.

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X : Muerta Las Vegas

Posted in Balconies, Diary, Gambling on July 20, 2008 by jiiiiim

It had been a month or more since The Amateur’s last mission. He was beginning to hope the syndicate had gotten the message but if there’s one thing The Amateur has learnt, it’s that one should never begin to hope. That and you should not get your car repairs done at a garage which didn’t appear to be there yesterday. When The Amateur had located the rattling sound as coming within the fluffy dice astride his mirror, a single tap knocked them open and out fell this card.

Three people to save before they send someone else against them and a free week in Vegas. The Amateur mobilised grudgingly.
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IX : The Bell Tolls For Thee

Posted in Diary, Hats, Sideburns on May 9, 2008 by jiiiiim

The Amateur’s assignments do not stop. He has no way to inform head office of his pacificistic vow, you see. A Fed-Ex or Other-Leading-Brand postman delivers the next parcel. Are they trying to set The Amateur up as some kind of monster? ARE THEY?!

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VIII : In Spades

Posted in Diary, High seas, Smoking continues to cause fatalities on April 25, 2008 by jiiiiim

The Amateur was settling in for an all-night Scooby-Doo marathon, so that he may shout names and pull faces at Scrappy-Doo, when suddenly he picked up a sound near the door. A bell ring to be precise. Well the Amateur isn’t that easily fooled. At the end of the marathon, he found this sheet slid under the door, clipped to a “you were unable to receive this parcel” card.

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V : Suburban Warfare

Posted in Clowns, Diary, Skateboards on March 24, 2008 by jiiiiim

The Amateur was pleased to find in his shreddies, once he had finished choking on it, a free gift containing the new mission. He was only slightly peeved that this took the place of the token he needed three more of to get a skateboard, so compromised and ordered the additional remote bomb. The Amateur will never get that damn skateboard.

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