I have a new blog up, this time chronicling Rome: Total War. Find it here!
So it is done.
Thankyou for your patronship, viewing several. In times to come, you will look back at this and think “404 not found, eh? Maybe I shouldn’t have left fifty years between visits.” For those of you who are new to this blog, it’s in the horrible reverse order that blogs seem to like so go here if you’d like to start at the first post, or use the handy-dandy list of episodes on the right (it kinda ruins the narrative flow to start at the end).
Thanks again and remember: Keep watching the skies. No, I don’t know what for.
The Amateur did not have long to wait for his next assignment. Driving home in the, uh, escape vehicle that he totally didn’t steal, he picked up the same rattling. He looked up – no dice. He pressed play on the stereo – nothing. He stopped the car and looked behind him. On the back was a nodding dog. The Amateur hates nodding dogs. The exploded remnants yielded this partially charred card.
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The Amateur stumbled from the Shamal looking for a means of escaping this wretched city. His minivan had apparently started the long journey home without him and his money was still in his room. Sighing resignedly, he stuck out a thumb in the time-honoured fashion of the hitch-hiker. A car immediately stopped next to him. The Amateur dived in to find the driver separated by an opaque partition.
“You’re the only one left now 47…”, began a familiar, hated voice
“I’m not 47! I want out of t-”
“…all our agents are dead by now…” continued the voice
“Good! Assassination is not a game!”
“…we don’t know if this mission is a set-up but it’s sure to be crawling with enemy agents…”
“Are you even listening to me?!”
The Amateur shot a couple of nails through the forbidding plexiglass. Peering through the holes, he could see nothing but a tape-recorder on the driver’s seat.
“…good luck 47. It’s been quite a ride.”
The Amateur tensed in anticipation of the thing self-destructing but it turns out that only happens in a certain genre of movie. Retrieving it and flipping it open, he found this design on either side of the cassette.
It had been a month or more since The Amateur’s last mission. He was beginning to hope the syndicate had gotten the message but if there’s one thing The Amateur has learnt, it’s that one should never begin to hope. That and you should not get your car repairs done at a garage which didn’t appear to be there yesterday. When The Amateur had located the rattling sound as coming within the fluffy dice astride his mirror, a single tap knocked them open and out fell this card.
Three people to save before they send someone else against them and a free week in Vegas. The Amateur mobilised grudgingly.
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The Amateur’s assignments do not stop. He has no way to inform head office of his pacificistic vow, you see. A Fed-Ex or Other-Leading-Brand postman delivers the next parcel. Are they trying to set The Amateur up as some kind of monster? ARE THEY?!